father_peter | To Those in the Know

I returned from a rather harrowing and horrible time in Russia, only to find the basement flooded from a burst pipe, and then I went to see Amaris (what was I thinking?) and she promptly ripped my face off. Literally. I decided to give Dragonetti a miss.

It's either whine here like a little bitch, or the other kind of wine. Indulge me.

I was sent to a slaughter. Not just that, I was sent to lead a slaughter, though I didn't so much lead it as be horrified by it. I thought it was a rescue mission. I thought we were saving people.

Fuck me.

Current Mood: cranky

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Oh my goodness. It sounds like whatever you experienced out there was awful well beyond words. I'm so sorry, Peter. You know Thomas and I are both here for whatever you might need.

It was. I feel used. The person who contact me about this place would have known I couldn't let it stay there, and he was right. And yet he didn't tell me he was going to let his pets wreak bloody havoc while we were a-rescuing. We got out of there and the place was just...gore. Everywhere.

I know you are, though I hope you have a good last few hours in the US. How was James at Disneyland?

And how was Thomas?

Ugh, that is terrible. It all sounds so unnecessary. Not getting rid of the facility of course, but... I'm sure left to your own devices, I'm sure you would have found a way to safely deal with the people without resorting to that.

The US has been excellent, for both James and Thomas, actually. Thomas was understandably apprehensive about everything, but he's actually had a fantastic time. He, James and Mara have had a blast. Despite everything, I think it was really good for all of them.

That is what I do. I wasn't leading them. They were using me for my connections. Which just...oh, I am livid. I even wrote about it and, in my blindness, I didn't see...

I seem to be cast in this role and I don't wish to complain about it. It certainly isn't about that. I would want to help, no matter what the capacity. I have simply been thinking lately, that the people who can't possibly stand to let injustice happen are, invariably, forced then into a position of direct opposition. So often, this position of opposition isn't simple and it's generally a position of leadership. I have people asking me what to do simply because the obvious and easy answer is simply 'nothing'. Anything more than righteous indignation on behalf of the wronged party might be beyond our very nature as human beings; not because we are lazy or we don't care if another human is suffering. It's dangerous to take a stand and say 'hey, I think not'. Especially when it entails sneaking in to some secret medical facility and taking down warlords. Evolutionarily speaking, if we all did this, we would have died out a long time ago. How do you do that sneak into a secret medical facility and take down war lords? I hope I know the answer to that question when the time comes.

How pathetically misguided was I? I wasn't there to lead. I was there to bring my people to one of their power plays. Fucking arseholes.

I don't usually get this angry... I just...Felicity and Sera died there. That shouldn't have happened.

I'm so glad. That is something I need to hear. Did Thomas go on the rides? Please tell me he sat in a tea cup and you took pictures?

Oh, Peter. You're not blind. And as you said yourself, you couldn't have turned your back on this. If you had, they would still be making people sick, and you saw how that went for us. For Anna, for Katie. I'm livid that you were used to, but given the people and factors involved... I don't know that this could have ended cleanly. I am so, so sorry. Sorry that for some reason, people always seem to involve you in these things.

We shouldn't have to lose people. No one should, not like this. It's not right.

In terms of photos, Peter, it's your lucky day. I think I may have quite the collection just waiting for your perusal.

They could have been rounded up...arrested...any thing but this. Alessandro Dragonetti has caused me nothing but pain, but I didn't kill him. I could have, but I didn't. I don't mind being involved, just played. And I mind him using the people I love for this as well. He used Svetlana and Aly and Tamm and Allanah...he used them all for his own quest. He used Felicity and Sera and they died.

I'm just...ranting. I know you understand and are sympathetic. Thank you.

Ah, perfect. Teacup Thomas.

Indeed. Seeing the suffering of those around you... I know what pain that would have caused you, Peter. Whoever these people are, you're so much better than them. I'm sorry that the evil plans of others meant you had to get swept up with these vengeful ways.

Peter, you're always welcome. I'm quite willing and able to listen to you rant.

So am I. That's all that can be said, really.

Will you tell Thomas I love him? He's really okay, right? No...symptoms besides the need to eat?

And I love you too, of course.

Of course I will, Peter. I love you too. We both do. And he really does seem to be doing fine. I promise I'd tell you if things were otherwise. I know there are no secrets between you and Thomas.

I know, I was just worried you might sugarcoat things because I'm acting like a spectacular baby.

Believe me, Peter, I know that dishonesty, however well-intentioned, is the last thing you need right now.

You're a good friend, Adrian.

I'm going to listen to you sing to me while I sit here and not-drink and I will calm down.

Peter, it means so much to me that I can do that for you. It really does.

Aren't Felicity and Sera immortal? They're supernaturals, right? So they're not dead-dead, right?

They were. They let themselves die. It's the only way it can happen. Felicity was... She was in a lot of pain and it wouldn't have abated, and so she let herself die. And Sera, who was very close to her sister, couldn't handle that. She killed herself and let go as well. An immortal person is only immortal as long as they want to be. When they're in too much pain, or they don't want to go on, or they can't, they don't have to.

Seems like a lot of immortal people keeping dying for real. It kinda freaks me out. I died when we went to fight those zombies. What if I'd ended up forever dead?

I think, with the exception of what happened to poor Kait, it was always a conscious decision. You will remain here with us until you choose to go.

Kait was...an anomaly. Brought about by a dangerous and horrible man, who won't be doing it to anyone else ever again.

That place was fucking shit from start to finish.

I'm so sorry you had a shitty welcome home, too. Cutting your losses and not seeing Dragonetti sounds like a good plan. Then again, not seeing that bastard always sounds like a good plan.

It was, my darling girl. But now it's gone.

I couldn't handle it. Having my face ripped off and then being called Satan's spawn? I think that's a bit overkill of a day.

I'm still at the hospital (Katia is fussing and I look a fright) but I'll be home soon. We should...I don't know. Do something. Though I should probably made a call first. I have someone I want to bitch out.

I really hope he doesn't destroy London for my tanty...

Yeah. Let's just keep your face where it belongs, Dad. I like it underneath your hair there.

Definitely let's do something. I can cook up a nice dinner for you and Aly, and then we can do something with the kids. We've all missed you so much, Dad, you and Mum.

Is... this guy likely to destroy London...?

So do I! That's where Aly kisses it!

Oh, honey, you don't have to cook! Unless you want to. And believed me, we missed you all too.

Oh, probably not.

I want to. I'm like my mother. I equate cooking with love.

Probably not? Well, I suppose that's more reassuring than what we'd get about some of the characters we've encountered. Joy...

Well then, cook away. I love your food and I could certainly do with a good meal.

It'll be alright. If he gets angry, I'll just supplicate myself for the good of London-kind.

I'll bet. I don't think Russian battle nuns are known for their cooking.

I really don't like the sound of that...

I couldn't stomach much anyway.

I can kowtow with the best of them, apparently.

We'll make it for it now, Dad.

You are my heart and soul, Tasha.

Exactly what I want to be, Dad. I love you.

I love you too.

Oh, Goddess. I'm so sorry, Peter.

How is Aly doing?

I am too, Renee. Thank you.

She's doing better than I am, actually. She's got David all up in her head and while David isn't all 'yay, carnage' he's a tough boy. She's taking it in a sorrowful way, but she's not letting it get in the way. Me? I keep stumbling over it and falling flat on my face.

I'm really glad Aly and David are doing okay. It sounds like you need somewhere safe and warm to fall down and just be for a while. Which I have no doubt will be at your place with your family, but you're always welcome here, too.

I was just in Spain. Though I would never say no to going back. I'm just so utterly pissed off and it's unnatural and I'm like "what is this rage" and it doesn't go away....

Oh my god, I'm becoming a teenager, Renee!!

Oh Peter, my darling. If I'd been there, I'm sure I'd be raging, too. You've seen war. That's sent plenty of people up the psychological shit creek without a paddle. And I'm not saying that's you, not at all, but after something like that... talking to Abby, or someone else at the hospital you trust, really couldn't hurt.

Or Thomas. Definitely Thomas.

I'll talk to my Thomas. I will talk to my Thomas until my face falls off again.

He's really good when I'm angry because he makes Thomas talky tea and then he says things like "but I brought you a blueberry, so smile, you girl". That always works.

And if even that fails, you know he'll stick it up his nose...

And then he does the nose berry dance. Which is mental.

It'd have to be!

That's our Thomas.

At least you're back, though?

Some people who should be, aren't. I'm thankful that I am and so many people I love came back with me. But there was too much loss of life not to feel empty and shaken.