That somehow this black night feels warmer for the spark

David is married!! And he and Christina are safely on their...whatever it is they're doing. And the party here is still going, but I am old and tired, so I came inside amid shrieks of happiness and cheer (not because I was leaving...)

Last night was the bachelor party and it was...interesting. How come it was David's bachelor party and they still kept buying ME lapdances. Is it because I turn red? I was Not Amused. There was a barely clad girl dancing over me and all I could think was 'I wonder if she gets cold when she does this in the winter? I should give her a blanket.' Which I don't think is the point. Thomas, however, had the night of this life and he said announced "There should always be bachelor parties" rather loudly to everyone. He didn't get a feather boa this time, though. Woe is Thomas.

This is going to be long. I shall cut it just for you. ( Today was the wedding. )

David, I just wanted to give you a heads up. Svetlana is going to come with us when we go to Spain. I don't know when you're planning on joining us, but she'll be going on our charter flight after Tasha is better.

I also thought it best that I tell you we're planning on telling your family that I'm a sperm donor. It seems like the best way to explain why she's pregnant with my child without...getting hit with lots of fruit and shoes and things. Poor Thomas gets to play the impotent boyfriend. And let me tell you he's thrilled. I suppose that's probably what we'll tell your parents too. I don't want to get a branding iron in the side. You know...again.

Anyway...I hope you're well.

Tasha is getting better everyday, which makes me very happy. She als0 becomes more and more like Liz everyday, which is scary, but I am quite grateful for that as well. Even if I am now surrounded...

Because of Tasha's condition, she's going to be able to take deferred exams so we'll be leaving for Spain sooner than anticipated. We won't be gone long. We just want a chance to relax and there are several dozen Spanish cousins waiting to steal Thomas from me and coo over him. Speaking of Thomases, Big Thomas is going to come with us. He says he's going to wear a bikini. Don't you worry, I'll take pictures.

I read Baby Thomas the Symposium today. I figured why bother with the baby books, why not start right off! He stares at me in rapt attention and smiles. He likes Socrates! But when I read Aristotle, he falls asleep. He is clearly a Plato fan. Or he'd rather hear about love instead of being virtuous. I'm with you, Little Guy.

Svetlana, would you like to come over today? I have something I'd like to discuss with you.

You really wanna start thinking of Tasha leading me round on a lead, Peter :P

It was supposed to be a joke, but I can't help but feel sickened. She doesn't understand because she wasn't in the bunker and she didn't see what Svetlana did to David. What she made me do to him.

And now I'm just afraid one of them will see that and react.

September 26th, 2006

I'm still unable to write much with my hand, even though the cast is off. And I have many things on my mind, so I will return to this again.

There was an article in the paper yesterday about a woman who wrapped electrical tape around herself and jumped from a 12 story building. And she survived. I know there's no possible way she's human, and now the media is on to it, reporting this 'amazing miracle' as well as deciding the apocalypse is nigh. While I know that most people will look at the story and give it all the weight they give everything extraordinary reported in the media, it still scares me. What happens for the few people who do look at this young woman and think, 'there might be something to this?'. Will their world be shattered like mine was? Will they be terrified to learn that we're more alone than we thought we were, and yet not so alone at all? Or will they take it to mean that god does exsist? Will it be a false epiphany with false promises and false hope? Whatever way it goes, it's wrong. Things like this shouldn't be public knowledge. No one should see it and those that do should keep it silent.

( Fear )

September 11th, 2006

Using this for as a replacement for my diaries feels very strange. With the incredible response I got yesterday, I feel as if everyone will be able to read what I write. And then I remember that I've let most of them read my innermost thoughts anyway so they could understand more about the world they live in. Still, writing about the truth of things on a place that's so accessible feels so utterly wrong. Notice I'm doing it anyway. That's me. Always the rebel.

( Rambling on Dreams )