Private

May. 20th, 2007 11:53 pm
father_peter: (Grief)
You really wanna start thinking of Tasha leading me round on a lead, Peter :P

It was supposed to be a joke, but I can't help but feel sickened. She doesn't understand because she wasn't in the bunker and she didn't see what Svetlana did to David. What she made me do to him.

And now I'm just afraid one of them will see that and react.

Private

May. 20th, 2007 11:53 pm
father_peter: (Grief)
You really wanna start thinking of Tasha leading me round on a lead, Peter :P

It was supposed to be a joke, but I can't help but feel sickened. She doesn't understand because she wasn't in the bunker and she didn't see what Svetlana did to David. What she made me do to him.

And now I'm just afraid one of them will see that and react.

PRIVATE

Sep. 26th, 2006 01:13 pm
father_peter: (Looking Down)
September 26th, 2006

I'm still unable to write much with my hand, even though the cast is off. And I have many things on my mind, so I will return to this again.

There was an article in the paper yesterday about a woman who wrapped electrical tape around herself and jumped from a 12 story building. And she survived. I know there's no possible way she's human, and now the media is on to it, reporting this 'amazing miracle' as well as deciding the apocalypse is nigh. While I know that most people will look at the story and give it all the weight they give everything extraordinary reported in the media, it still scares me. What happens for the few people who do look at this young woman and think, 'there might be something to this?'. Will their world be shattered like mine was? Will they be terrified to learn that we're more alone than we thought we were, and yet not so alone at all? Or will they take it to mean that god does exsist? Will it be a false epiphany with false promises and false hope? Whatever way it goes, it's wrong. Things like this shouldn't be public knowledge. No one should see it and those that do should keep it silent.

Fear )

PRIVATE

Sep. 26th, 2006 01:13 pm
father_peter: (Looking Down)
September 26th, 2006

I'm still unable to write much with my hand, even though the cast is off. And I have many things on my mind, so I will return to this again.

There was an article in the paper yesterday about a woman who wrapped electrical tape around herself and jumped from a 12 story building. And she survived. I know there's no possible way she's human, and now the media is on to it, reporting this 'amazing miracle' as well as deciding the apocalypse is nigh. While I know that most people will look at the story and give it all the weight they give everything extraordinary reported in the media, it still scares me. What happens for the few people who do look at this young woman and think, 'there might be something to this?'. Will their world be shattered like mine was? Will they be terrified to learn that we're more alone than we thought we were, and yet not so alone at all? Or will they take it to mean that god does exsist? Will it be a false epiphany with false promises and false hope? Whatever way it goes, it's wrong. Things like this shouldn't be public knowledge. No one should see it and those that do should keep it silent.

Fear )

PRIVATE

Sep. 12th, 2006 10:20 am
father_peter: (Bernard!Peter)
September 12, 2006

Stupid broken bones. I can't do anything. Not even help Deirdre with her father. If he hurts her again- well I can't do anything because I am in a wheelchair. But I'll imagine doing several things to him. Probably at once. And I'll smile!

Why do people hurt their children? I don't even like it when Lydia or Anna skin their knees on the playground. The idea of hurting them myself is beyond unimaginable, not to mention terrible. The things Deirdre's father said to her were horrifying as well. How could he tell his own daughter he never wanted her? Doesn't he understand how damaging that is? I only hope that Deirdre's friends and I can show him how wrong he is to say and do these things. She says I don't have to and that it's not my job, but being her father figure is an honour. Besides, she needs someone.

Someone who would like to not currently be in a wheelchair.

Dammit.

PRIVATE

Sep. 12th, 2006 10:20 am
father_peter: (Bernard!Peter)
September 12, 2006

Stupid broken bones. I can't do anything. Not even help Deirdre with her father. If he hurts her again- well I can't do anything because I am in a wheelchair. But I'll imagine doing several things to him. Probably at once. And I'll smile!

Why do people hurt their children? I don't even like it when Lydia or Anna skin their knees on the playground. The idea of hurting them myself is beyond unimaginable, not to mention terrible. The things Deirdre's father said to her were horrifying as well. How could he tell his own daughter he never wanted her? Doesn't he understand how damaging that is? I only hope that Deirdre's friends and I can show him how wrong he is to say and do these things. She says I don't have to and that it's not my job, but being her father figure is an honour. Besides, she needs someone.

Someone who would like to not currently be in a wheelchair.

Dammit.

PRIVATE

Sep. 11th, 2006 11:29 am
father_peter: (Hurty)
September 11th, 2006

Using this for as a replacement for my diaries feels very strange. With the incredible response I got yesterday, I feel as if everyone will be able to read what I write. And then I remember that I've let most of them read my innermost thoughts anyway so they could understand more about the world they live in. Still, writing about the truth of things on a place that's so accessible feels so utterly wrong. Notice I'm doing it anyway. That's me. Always the rebel.

Rambling on Dreams )

PRIVATE

Sep. 11th, 2006 11:29 am
father_peter: (Hurty)
September 11th, 2006

Using this for as a replacement for my diaries feels very strange. With the incredible response I got yesterday, I feel as if everyone will be able to read what I write. And then I remember that I've let most of them read my innermost thoughts anyway so they could understand more about the world they live in. Still, writing about the truth of things on a place that's so accessible feels so utterly wrong. Notice I'm doing it anyway. That's me. Always the rebel.

Rambling on Dreams )

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